My Big Brother

From the memorial service today:

My brother George was born three years and three days before me.
We were never very close growing up.
I knew why and he knew why but we never talked about it.
Our parents favored me over George and he resented it.
George was not a big brother to me growing up. I never looked up to him in those days.
He didn’t protect me or guide me as a big brother often does.
He looked to me as the smart one and himself as the not so intelligent one.
He completed junior college and I ended up with a masters.
George was the extrovert. I was the introvert.
He had many friends – I have few.
I can’t remember any friends from more than fifteen years ago.
George has five friends that he has know since he was fifteen.
And dozens more over the years of his journey.
I moved around a lot. He stayed put.
He was the lucky one. He had all the fun.
After all, George, it wasn’t me that shot out Miss Russell’s barn windows with the BB gun.
I never had a BB gun!
I was stringing a wire from the attic window across the lawn to the tall pine trees for improved reception on my crystal radio.
And, it wasn’t me that had to confront the Woodbridge Police at 1 AM in the barn loft to shut down the party.
I was probably sleeping and dreaming of trigonometry formulas.

In reality, I just had the knack to sit and read a textbook
He was good at sitting and talking with friends – and sometimes dancing wildly.

I always thought of George as an eccentric. A dear eccentric.
But he was much more than that;
George was ordinary and simple, complex and extraordinary.
A friend. Caring. Offering to help. Full of good humor. Always a patriot. Never taking advantage of anybody. Complaining and then looking the other way when somebody took advantage of him.

In maturity we became closer.
We had families to share – cousins to bring together.
During the last two years we became very close out of necessity to care for our mother.
After her passing last year we spent six months together in Woodbridge preparing mom’s property to market.

Sometimes, I helped him with his activities – riding in his truck over Haddad Road along Peat Swamp Reservoir to the transfer station a dozen times. He taught me how to fall a tree.
Since I returned to California, we talked once or twice a week. I missed our rides together.

We talked about mom’s property that George was caring for; or estate matters that I was handling. But, he would talk on about his client’s activities; trimming Mrs. So-and-so’s bushes, falling Mr. so-and-so’s tree, the so-and-so’s cellar clean-out, or the little annoyance he had at the town hall.
I had no idea who these people were. I got to know them through George. They were his clients. They are his friends.
We would talk on until he ran out of things to say. I never ended the conversation. I was absorbed.

I have my clients. He had his.
My clients and friends needed help with their financial lives. Businesses and individuals call me about their taxes or financial futures with question like defined benefit plans versus defined contribution plans. Or, what is the alpha of one mutual fund compared to another.
George’s clients and friends need help with their daily lives. A bush, a tree, a cluttered garage, some firewood. Maybe just a long talk about something on their mind.
I suddenly realized that there was no difference in what we were doing. We were both meeting the needs of people.
Except that his clients could understand what he was saying. My clients have no idea what alpha is or what cliff vesting is.
I may have book smarts but George had compassionate intelligence far above my learning.
I envied him.
I looked forward to our calls.
Many times I would call him but it was nice to see his name displayed on my ringing phone. What new adventure was he in today? Did I have enough time to share it all? I always made the time.

Finally, I had my big brother. Somebody to look up to.
Now, George is protecting and guiding me from on high.
I know that he is preparing the way for me.
Look after mom like you always did.
God be with you, till we meet again.
I Love you.